Someone made a joke to me about my ADHD and I've really been struggling with how to feel about it. It was a super off hand joke about how I probably wouldn't remember something on account of my ADHD. They thought it was funny - I thought it was an accusation. I chuckled in an obligatory way because I didn't know what else to do and because not laughing would have made things so very awkward. But even as it was happening I knew I did not feel good about it (if the gnashing of teeth didn't give me away). On one hand, well, I do have ADHD. This is one of my fundamental truths. I believe I have a good sense of humor about myself and that includes any struggles I have with my symptoms. I am an open person and it doesn't bother me to share this part of myself. Don't get me wrong, the struggle is real. It's just that being open about it is my way of saying that I won't be ashamed of it. Fortune 500 companies are helmed by a massively disproportionate amount of people with ADHD. We make up a significant portion of the twice exceptional population. Out in the world, my contemporaries are responsive, successful, productive members of society. GO US! What could I possibly have to be ashamed of? Not a darn thing. But don't get it twisted. I work hard. Like, into the ground hard, even for things that don't and shouldn't matter. I want the be the best at what I do. I am unflinchingly competitive. I wonder though, actually I know, that I'm being hypocritical. I mean, if I can have a sense of humor about what I deal with then I should be okay with someone responding in kind because after all, I am the one who opened that door. Is it even all that different from something I might say about myself in a moment of amused pique? Not really. I can't help but wonder if I've overshared this part of myself and now I can't walk it back. I've opened myself up to criticisms that I've only allowed myself to acknowledge.
7 Comments
This is great Robyn! I love hearing your perspective. Sometimes, people acknowledge their own differences, but that doesn't mean that others should use them in a less than constructive way against them! Honestly, you are full of amazing ideas and I love
3/7/2017 08:16:10 pm
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Your post is written from the heart. I understand about sharing then feeling maybe it should not be out there. you shared because you are an open person. But it is different when someone else "tells your story". I recently read how important it is to not share other people's stories by repeating them.
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3/8/2017 09:44:28 am
I don't think I knew this about you. I don't think just by sharing this aspect of yourself that means it opens it up to jokes that may be hurtful. You have a right to be hurt. Don't second-guess that.
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Anna Helsby Furniss
3/8/2017 01:09:53 pm
Your slice speaks so much truth! So many people come up against that conflict where they joke about themselves but find it awkward or hurtful when others do it. As Dana says, you have a right to be hurt. This is such a tricky one, I have no answers. But it made me think of a "This American Life" episode that I really enjoyed: https://www.thisamericanlife.org/radio-archives/episode/589/tell-me-im-fat?act=1 Passing it on in case you are interested.
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I love that you're open about it. I do not think that gives someone the right to tease, but I think if a lot of us were more open about struggles, whatever they may be, it could open us up to a whole new world of support and community.
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Natalie
3/8/2017 06:42:55 pm
I agree with the rest of the comments. Just because you are comfortable joking about yourself doesn't really give others the right to. I like what someone said above about how others shouldn't be telling your story.
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AUTHORReese: Elementary Music Teacher in Chicagoland. Clarinetist and Trumpeter.
I'm writing a Slice of Life every day for the month of March as part of the Slice of Life Challenge. See more at TWO WRITING TEACHERS. MY FAVORITE POSTS |