One of the best things about participating in the Slice of Life Challenge last year was how it made me start to say, possibly for the first time, "I should totally write about this!" Whatever "this" was on any given day wasn't really the takeaway for me, and I certainly don't think the craft of my writing was much to write home about (ha ha, get it?) but rather, that I had begun to view the world around me as opportunities for writing (and sharing). So this year, for the last couple of months I've started jotting ideas down in my Notes app. Not all the time, mind you, just when I would think something might be fun to write about later. It might be something I saw, or thought, or that had happened. But when I look back at these prompts now, some of them don't make any sense and I'm not even sure why I even wrote certain things or what they mean. I get the impression that my past self thought these ideas were quite witty, but my current self doesn't have enough context to be in on the joke. I'm going to be honest, I don't think this helped, like, at all, but I'm still glad to be seeing the world in a way that relates to writing. Glad to be back, everyone!
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My posts have really petered out. I'm clearly a sprinter and this is a marathon. I wish I could give this final push some more pizzazz, but honestly, I'm limping my way across the finish line here. When I started slicing I wanted to keep my posts all light and funny but then some very unfunny things happened and I got a little lost. But I'll come back next year and try it again!
I am a difficult student.
I cannot stand the open-endedness in assignments and tasks, even though the ambiguity exists to provide flexibility for all of the various contents, curriculums and districts that our cohort members function under. I have a million questions. I want examples. I want to revise and resubmit. I get annoyed that I waste time trying to understand what is being asked of me and not actually on the task itself. But I also hate being boxed in. I don't teach a core subject area so my teeth start to gnash when I don't have the flexibility to adapt assignments to music. I find myself exasperated when the feedback I receive shows a fundamental misunderstanding of my content area. There is admittedly some contradiction here, re: my distaste for ambiguity while insisting on adaptability. What I finally had to admit today is that I want to do things on my terms and no one else's. I want clear, explicit directions but I expect the freedom to divert from that at will, and without recourse. But that is just not how the world works. I'm working on it. I told you I was a difficult student. There are two kinds of people in this world; those who like black jelly beans and those who don't. My older sister looooooves black jelly beans. I think they exist just to make the other jelly beans taste better. Today she sent out a group text to the entire family asking us to be on HIGH ALERT for black jelly beans because she couldn't find any. Here you go Sis, don't say I never did anything for you! Here are my favorite and most despised Holiday candies. Do you agree?
VALENTINE'S DAY BEST: Chocolate Covered Cherries WORST: Conversation Hearts EASTER: BEST: (TIE)Cadbury Creme Eggs/Reese's Eggs WORST: Black Jelly Beans HOTLY DEBATED: Peeps HALLOWEEN BEST: Reese's PB Cups WORST: Candy Corn CHRISTMAS BEST: Chocolate Oranges WORST: Stale Candy Canes ANYTIME CANDY BEST: (TIE)Swedish Fish & Sour Patch Kids WORST: Chick-o-Stick I want to put this on the front door of my house, my classroom, tattoo it on my forehead... Chewing. See also; Slurping. Breathing. Drinking. Sniffling. Gulping. Smooching. Hiccuping. Lip-Smacking. Snoring. Coughing. Hissing. Chugging. Munching. Whistling. Gum-Popping. Snorting. Crunching. Please refrain from making any of the sounds listed above as I do not posses the emotional fortitude to bear them and will not be held responsible for the inexorable rage that occurs in their presence. Please and thank you.
Man, do I love Target. I doesn't matter if you walk into that store for just a greeting card; you end up leaving with three throw pillows, Easter candy, curtain rods, a sweater, and two Burt's Bees lip-glosses. Don't pretend like I'm the only one this happens to, either. I am not alone in this. But the clearance shelves -oh boy- the clearance shelves are my jam! So here I am minding my own business, whistling my way through the clearance section, when I come across this monstrosity... Full stop.
The horror. The rage. The abject confusion. Why? Just... why? I wanted to buy every single color just so I could rearrange them all into separate jars by coloring utensil type instead of color. What kind of project could possibly necessitate eight separate coloring devices in the same shade but literally none in any other shades? Besides, who wants to be the owner of one lonely colored pencil instead of a set of them? "Quick! Somebody get me a yellow highlighter, a yellow colored pencil, a yellow window marker, and yellow chalk RIGHT NOW! Get the h*** outta here green, I said yellow!" - Said no one, ever I don't really have a fancy story-telling device for today. I've tried hard at craft writing through this challenge, but I think today I'd just like to tell you about my day, plain and simple.
My Grandpa chose to be creamated after his wake and funeral so we were left with tons and tons of beautiful flowers that normally would have gone to the cemetery. We offered for everyone to take some, but we still had so many fresh flowers that we really couldn't bear to just toss. We all pulled a few roses to press or dry or do whatever we would find most comforting. I kept a pretty potted plant from my cousins on the other side of the family, but what to do with the rest? Yesterday, we left the luncheon with a game plan. Today, I ran out early to Dollar Tree and picked up vases. Then we pulled all the flowers from the easels and sprays and rearranged them into the vases. We were able to drop off about 35 floral arrangements to Alden Nursing Home, but it took a couple of trips. My niece and Goddaughter, Bella, clearly has a future as a florist! It felt like a good day. I'm intentionally trying to keep things light around here today. This is not my first rant about Greek yogurt- and it won't be my last.
Dear Greek Yogurt, I'm sorry, I really tried to like you, but I've decided I need to see other yogurts. Dealing with you leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I feel like I've brought a lot of extras to this relationship to sweeten the deal, but no matter what I do you're still so bitter! Why do you insist on being so rotten and bad? I know you're really popular right now, but c'mon- nobody even knew who you were ten years ago. Besides, everyone knows I only keep you around because I dont have a lot of other options. You're always telling me how good you are for me, but you're two-faced. That's right, I know all about your saturated lies, and I'm cutting the fat! I tolerated it when someone said they saw you in the freezer section, but today I found you all over pretzels and raisins!!!! I know you tried to cover it up. Forget it Greek Yogurt, I'm just not buying what you're selling. I'm leaving you for Noosa. Noosa understands me and is very sweet. I think we will be very happy together. Please don't contact me. Reese In my grad school cohort we have a rather ridiculous habit of re-introducing ourselves to each other (for points mind you) in each new class or with each new professor. Our online discussion board is filled with rehashed life stories. Everyone responds to exactly X number of our peers, just as the syllabus requires. It's getting tedious. But we go through the motions anyway, because points! Well, this go-around I decided to make a joke to "Eugenia #2" about how "Eugenia #1" won't give me a baklava recipe, so might "Eugenia #2" share one? (Yes, there are two Eugenias in a cohort of 9 people, go figure).
Today, I showed up to work and Eugenia #1 had put 2 pieces of gorgeous baklava in a bakery box on my desk. She had texted me the night before with some questions about the assignment due at midnight and she couldn't have known that I was answering them while sitting at a table with my siblings and cousins picking out photos for funeral services. She just thanked me for the help and said she had something to give me the next day. I stopped dead in my tracks when I saw that dessert on my desk. After a moment of sheer confusion, laughter bubbled up as it all came back to me. I was de-light-ed that Eugenia #1 had noticed my baklava appeal to Eugenia #2 on that godforsaken discussion board. I needed that laugh today. I needed baklava today. I got both. ***** I work with lovely people. Thanks to Jenny (Eugenia #1), Rachel, Dana, Tanya and the music department for your help today. |
AUTHORReese: Elementary Music Teacher in Chicagoland. Clarinetist and Trumpeter.
I'm writing a Slice of Life every day for the month of March as part of the Slice of Life Challenge. See more at TWO WRITING TEACHERS. MY FAVORITE POSTS |