My neighbors have a penguin. An awful, melamine, life-sized penguin on their front porch. Or I should say, they did...
A couple of thoughts.
Firstly, I feel legitimately upset on behalf of anyone who experiences the violation that is theft, tacky penguin or no. And no, I didn't take it, not even for the sake of wacky hijinx. I might want to rearrange your battalion of pink flamingos into a complex game of croquet in the middle of the night (complete with flamingo-sized sweater vests and wickets) but I wouldn't actually do it.
But on the other hand, we're not exactly talking about objet d'art here either. To me, lawn decor is the bedazzling of landscape design. I get that you picked up that garden fairy from Krafty Korner in 1986, but it's time to let it go. Seriously. So enter the small, terrible part of me that is relieved I won't have to look at that faded, sad penguin ever again.
Later, as I was cooking dinner (okay, fine, eating dry cereal out of the box if you want to be a jerk about it) I found myself thinking about what happened to that penguin.
Did the Penguin run off with the Travelocity Gnome after breaking up with the Goose on the porch down the block? You know, I just knew that Gnome was trouble, I've been saying it for years! I really thought Penguin and Goose were going to make it.
If you've taken my neighbor's penguin, they'd really like it back, okay? No questions asked.
I'm sorry your penguin was stolen. I've made you a faux-photostory of what your penguin might be up to. Your penguin is in a better place(s) now. I hope it brings you comfort during this difficult time. Although (and I hate to have to be the one to tell you this) it appears your penguin will be voting for Donald Trump.
Reese: Elementary Music Teacher in Chicagoland. Clarinetist and Trumpeter.
I'm writing a Slice of Life every day for the month of March as part of the Slice of Life Challenge. See more at TWO WRITING TEACHERS.
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