My sister moved back to Chicago with her family after living and working in several places across the country since college. They are White Sox fans (as is our Mother) and I am a Cubs fan (as is our Father). A house divided! However, I found the perfect (admittedly belated) housewarming gift for her; A gigantic garden/outdoor White Sox themed bobble-head! Just what we all want and need, right? I just had to leave this little poem in the card... Bobby Bobblehead needs a new home. Or else, he will be left to roam. For at my house he can't abide, 'Cause only Cubbies fans reside. He asked if there might possibly be, someone to be his new family. I said, "I know just the place, and they have bought a brand new space!" So please make room on your porch or deck for Bobby to wobble his unsteady neck. And all those who walk by will see that who lives here is a Sox family. Notes
If you'd like to check out the Chicagoland (or any MLB) baseball fandom by zip-code in a REALLY COOL interactive map, click here. Just know the White Sox fandom is a blip of black in a sea of Cubby blue because all is right with the world!
6 Comments
[Earlier...]
"The stomach flu is going around. Did you hear? It's the worst flu anyone has ever had in the history of ever. My best friend Bethany's Sister's Mother-in-Law's hairdresser got it and ended up in the hospital. Someone said it's just a 24 hour thing, but I think it might be a 48 hour thing or a 72 hour thing or a 96 hour thing." I got the flu shot. Did they get the flu shot? Did the people next door get the flu shot because I'm pretty sure I saw their toddler sneeze and wipe it on their sleeve the other day. Does the flu shot even work on the stomach flu? Oh God, we're all gonna die. This is Defcon 5! This is not a drill people! If you'll just excuse me while I gorge on 14 dry Airborne packets. You know what? I'm being irrational. Back away from the Neti-pot woman, and handle this like a rational adult. There is no need to panic. I, simply refuse the flu this year. This is me, making a conscious choice to not get the stomach flu. That is totally how this works and the flu will just have to respect my bodily autonomy on this issue. See? Handled. [Later...] "I'll have the Huevos Rancheros, and could I get some more tortilla chips? I'll take the spicy salsa, thanks for asking." Good times, good times. [Even Later...] Am I dying? I feel like I’m dying. Someone feed my cat when I'm gone. No es bueno. It's I:00 a.m. and I've been in bed watching and sharing Tasty recipe videos on Facebook for about an hour now. In this hazy moment, I'm certain my friends will thank me in the morning. If anything, I'm providing them a service, really. But it doesn't matter, because if you don't want to know how to make a meatball sub casserole in 43 seconds then we can't be friends anyway.
As I lay here trying to decide between "Grilled Pizza S'mores" and "Fruit Sushi (Fruitshi!)" as my favorite late night viewing experience, I reminisce about life before time-lapse recipes. Oh, the olden days of yore. The year was 2012, and we had to get recipes from actual cookbooks. Heathens. To be honest, I have a love/hate relationship with short-form recipe videos. I find them and save them and share them- and then never make a single one. They're really more aspirational (#goals) than anything else. Why yes, "Ice Cream Bread" does sound very on-brand for me! Bless you, Tasty recipe videos. You're doing God's work. Notes Mozzarella Stick Waffles Grilled Pizza S'mores Fruit Sushi Ice Cream Bread I just spent 26 minutes googling "scalp pain." The estimable and not-at-all-made-up things on the internet indicate I have a B-12 deficiency and resulting kidney failure. Or, I just dug my claw-clip into my scalp too hard. But I'm going with the first one, and you don't have to take my word for it. WebMD told me, so it's serious, possibly fatal. To be clear, WebMD is the Devil. The Devil has an app in the App Store- a free one. I'm pretty sure Candy Crush has similar origins.
This is me, on WebMD, every.single.time. And scene... Got it. -scrolls- Had it. -scrolls- Probably going to get it. -scrolls- Oh look, a symptom checker! (Right, because this is going to end well). Why, yes, I do have fatigue... I have been feeling achy... (gasp). Headaches, too! WebMD says it's either late stage Lyme disease, or, you know, seasonal allergies. It's definitely the Lyme disease thing though. Probably. I'm a millennial. I just found out today at lunch, so excuse me if I take a moment to acknowledge myself as the special snowflake that I am. I'm kidding.
For several years I was one of the youngest teachers in the building, My friend across the lunch table and I like to joke with each other about the generation gap between us. She was a leg warmer 80's girl and I was a slap-bracelet 90's kid. She let it slip once that growing up she had to wear this awful, thick plastic swim cap with giant flowers on it in order to be let in to her local pool. I had never heard such a thing and a robust debate ensued with the entire lunch table. I am now convinced that the generation gap between myself and other women can be answered just by inquiring about the swim cap policy at their local pool growing up. This is, of course, a very scientific litmus test. For years I have been operating off the assumption that I was Gen-X's ill-defined younger sibling. But a new player has entered the game. The brand new teacher right out of college! The new teacher and I discuss her 90's fashion (the 90's are in again!) and she doesn't recognize her boots as the Doc Martens I lived for in high school. Today's generational snark at the lunch table (now with the newest generation chiming in) resulted in some fact checking. It turns out my mid-1980's birthday means that I am, in fact, a millennial. Sorry, that's Millennial with a capital M. I have to do that now that I am one of them. It's in the contract. How can I possibly be a Millennial? I grew up playing "Sim-City"- none of this "The Sims" ridiculousness. Transformers were toys, not movies, and I'm still waiting for that Beanie Baby collection to pay off. But Millennials? Millennials invented artisanal mayonnaise. I'm not a Millennial! I rebutted. I refuse to be labelled! And with that, I had just said the most characteristically Millennial thing possible. Darn it. I *am* a Millennial, I said, astonished. |
AUTHORReese: Elementary Music Teacher in Chicagoland. Clarinetist and Trumpeter.
I'm writing a Slice of Life every day for the month of March as part of the Slice of Life Challenge. See more at TWO WRITING TEACHERS. MY FAVORITE POSTS |